Momma Well held the hands, sung the songs, forgave the wrongs.
Momma Well Kissed the cuts, cooked the food, lightened moods.
Momma Well played the jokes, gave the sky, said goodbye.
Momma did Well.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Saturday, October 9, 2010
odds and ends
The most sexually frustrated dinosaur must have been the T-Rex.
"I can't reach it! Dammit! Now I pissed off! And horny. I'm gonna kill somethin! MAybe I can rub on that tree...Roar."
Cats are for people who don't mind their noses getting nibbled off when the owner unexpectedly dies in the living room.
Tasting grate is entirely different than tasting great.
Suppositions are for people who like to guess with long words.
What do you do when a dingo eats your baby? Why the hell did you bring your baby by a dingo? You know the saying. It was inevitable, dammit.
If your wife asks you to dress in a costume before sex what do you do? You run because that's not your wife, it's a frickin pod person!
My favorite Banned is entirely different than my favorite band.
Are corn flakes veggie dandruff?
If a Democrat and a Republican are in the same room, what do you have? It doesn't fucking matter, they won't listen to you anyway.
Do you keep used hemmorroid pads for posteriority's sake?
Why do Lima beans grow in the US?
When Peruvian locals sprint on the open plateau it's called NASCA racing.
Why do pigs need pens? They don't have thumbs.
Is a large discoing hamburger called meat in abundance?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
twins
Ne'er in the old and bold did the oaken trunk seem so fair, tangling
Strangely with auburn hair
Stealing winks and creaks - only time to share
Whisping winds tussle quickly, and quite slowly
tendrils of the pair
johnreedclark09262010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Struggle
Margaret Marie Mayweather. He smiled as he looked at her as she lay, head propped slightly on the pillow. Her eyes stared back, light blue, a bit moist, with the familiar twinkle of secrets shared. A smile sneaked past the wrinkly lips, a bit too dry, no longer able to bear the burden of food.
He swallowed the pills, accepting his fate. Either he would be forgiven, or he would not. Her hair, much thinner than when they met, much whiter, still caressed his hands lovingly as he held her head. An imperceptible nod.
He clutched her frail form around the neck. Sobs erupted from him, as he began. The cancer created frailness in her. Involountarily she grasped at his wrists, trying to abort the plan. Her mouth gaped, head tried to turn, eyes staring at all corners of the room for help.
Trembling hands closed her eyes, hiding the lifeless stare. "Goodbye Maggie, see you soon sweetie."
He sat in the bedside chair, too firm, too blue, too smooth, holding her hand. Just now he became aware of the beeping scream from the monitor.
Nurses rushed in and tried to revive her. His heart slowed, though his head still fought the memory of the convulsions parading to calm. The nurses looked at him accusingly, he no longer cared, and no longer heard them. Sleep carried him he knew not where. Had he done the right thing? Her lifeless untwinkling eyes burned his soul. Had he done the right thing? At least she would be at peace.
He swallowed the pills, accepting his fate. Either he would be forgiven, or he would not. Her hair, much thinner than when they met, much whiter, still caressed his hands lovingly as he held her head. An imperceptible nod.
He clutched her frail form around the neck. Sobs erupted from him, as he began. The cancer created frailness in her. Involountarily she grasped at his wrists, trying to abort the plan. Her mouth gaped, head tried to turn, eyes staring at all corners of the room for help.
Trembling hands closed her eyes, hiding the lifeless stare. "Goodbye Maggie, see you soon sweetie."
He sat in the bedside chair, too firm, too blue, too smooth, holding her hand. Just now he became aware of the beeping scream from the monitor.
Nurses rushed in and tried to revive her. His heart slowed, though his head still fought the memory of the convulsions parading to calm. The nurses looked at him accusingly, he no longer cared, and no longer heard them. Sleep carried him he knew not where. Had he done the right thing? Her lifeless untwinkling eyes burned his soul. Had he done the right thing? At least she would be at peace.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Supreme
Harold was unassumable. He wore a light, beige short sleeve button up shirt, with one button too many fastened, causing his loose neck folds to wilt over the sharp creased collar. In the left hand he bore a mace, too large for his minimal frame. In his right, he still grasped the hair of the woman. Her head was crushed, recently the victim of his unwieldy blow. Her left eye still looked up at him, almost making eye contact, yet somehow looking past him toward the cathedral ceiling. Just now, blood was seeping onto Harold’s beige pants, pooling just by the crease running down the leg.
He’d been told that crease would create a sharp look. The shirt, purchased at the same time, still remained free from blood. He gently lay the head back down to the church’s stone floor. Grout lines helped channel the pooling blood away. Instant concern washed over him. Would the grout come clean? He hadn’t thought of that. In fact, he hadn’t thought of anything. He hoped the cleaning crew would not have a hard time with that.
Harold stood, turned to the wall which until recently had been the mace’s perch, and replaced the artifact from the 1st crusade-or was it a relic of the Knights templar of later times? No matter.
His gait was a bit stiff, but not as bad as his sixty year old frame warranted. He stopped at the basin filled with holy water. He crossed himself and left, unaware of the blood now swirling slowly within.
His pants were still bloodied. He walked to the restroom, emptied his pockets, took them off, and washed. The hand soap from the dispenser was almost empty. It took several squirts, each gasping with air, gurgling trying to accommodate. Like the woman on the floor. She did not pass easily. His blow had been weak and glancing. Although enough to knock her over, it wasn’t enough to kill her outright. Indeed, her skull had caved with a rather curious crunch, but he wished he could have managed a more intense blow.
He replaced his pants to their proper position, refilled his pockets. Wallet, three dollar bills, a paperclip, a coupon from the nearby Taco Bell, and a credit card receipt from his purchase of these clothes. He left the church, wet pants leaving a trail of water out and down the large broad masonry steps to the street below.
He walked toward Taco Bell, he was hungry. With his coupon, he had enough for an extra hard shell taco. Today, he would celebrate. He would order a supreme.
The birds made no noise as he walked, deep in thought. The clothes were not working. He would have to return them. He did not feel any more confident. He looked into a passing store window, more focus on his reflection than the lingerie within. His shirt had become untucked yet again. This belt was not adequate either. He undid his belt, secured his shirt tails within his pants, and tried to force the belt tighter…no more holes.
“Hey you pervert! Move along or I’ll call the cops!” emitted from the store’s doorway.
Harold looked up, saw his mother face, and gasped. He looked quickly for a mace. He felt the store window to assure himself it was there. The lady in the doorway, noticed his eyes. They were not right. She backed into the store to dial the police. She locked the door. Harold found the mace, it was lying next to the curb. He picked it up and walked purposefully toward his mother. How could she have left the church? She was always waking up…
He smashed the full length window. The woman screamed. He stepped through, dripping pants, creased shirt, wilty neck, balding pate. She ran toward the back of the store. It would not unlock. Her keys were at the register. There were no weapons here. Mannequins too large, hangers too small, she reached into her pocket and grabbed her measuring tape. She could strangle him, he was a little guy.
Harold saw the measuring tape come out of her pocket. She was delusional, she needed to rest. He swung the mace. She dodged as he swung the pipe at her. Not swift enough, it caught her arm. She punched, contacting his face. Mother always struggled when he tried to make her rest. He swung the mace again. She was hit, square across the jaw, the threaded end of the pipe oddly tingly even as she recoiled from the weight of the blow.
Mother needed to sleep. Finally, contact. The curious crunch. He smiled and knelt next to her. Briefly, he grabbed her hair, pulling the head up, allowing her to view the church around them.
Her eyes stared blindly at the ceiling.
He knew she loved the cathedral ceiling. It was important to let her see it. He gently set her back down. No stains on his clothes. He walked out.
Taco Bell was delicious. As he ate his second taco, he was approached by two officers.
“Please put your hands above your head and lock your fingers together.” The man had a gun drawn on him.
Harold looked down at the sour cream laying gently across his taco. “This is a supreme.” He continued to eat.
“PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND LOCK YOUR FINGERS TOGETHER!”
Some cheese and sour cream fell out of the taco, onto Harold’s shirt. He would have to find the saleslady. This shirt was not good after all.
The officers grabbed him, easily, cuffing his hands behind him.
Harold wondered if his mom was alright. “Please grab a coupon from them. I’ll need it for my next visit.”
copyright john reed clark 03/28/2010
He’d been told that crease would create a sharp look. The shirt, purchased at the same time, still remained free from blood. He gently lay the head back down to the church’s stone floor. Grout lines helped channel the pooling blood away. Instant concern washed over him. Would the grout come clean? He hadn’t thought of that. In fact, he hadn’t thought of anything. He hoped the cleaning crew would not have a hard time with that.
Harold stood, turned to the wall which until recently had been the mace’s perch, and replaced the artifact from the 1st crusade-or was it a relic of the Knights templar of later times? No matter.
His gait was a bit stiff, but not as bad as his sixty year old frame warranted. He stopped at the basin filled with holy water. He crossed himself and left, unaware of the blood now swirling slowly within.
His pants were still bloodied. He walked to the restroom, emptied his pockets, took them off, and washed. The hand soap from the dispenser was almost empty. It took several squirts, each gasping with air, gurgling trying to accommodate. Like the woman on the floor. She did not pass easily. His blow had been weak and glancing. Although enough to knock her over, it wasn’t enough to kill her outright. Indeed, her skull had caved with a rather curious crunch, but he wished he could have managed a more intense blow.
He replaced his pants to their proper position, refilled his pockets. Wallet, three dollar bills, a paperclip, a coupon from the nearby Taco Bell, and a credit card receipt from his purchase of these clothes. He left the church, wet pants leaving a trail of water out and down the large broad masonry steps to the street below.
He walked toward Taco Bell, he was hungry. With his coupon, he had enough for an extra hard shell taco. Today, he would celebrate. He would order a supreme.
The birds made no noise as he walked, deep in thought. The clothes were not working. He would have to return them. He did not feel any more confident. He looked into a passing store window, more focus on his reflection than the lingerie within. His shirt had become untucked yet again. This belt was not adequate either. He undid his belt, secured his shirt tails within his pants, and tried to force the belt tighter…no more holes.
“Hey you pervert! Move along or I’ll call the cops!” emitted from the store’s doorway.
Harold looked up, saw his mother face, and gasped. He looked quickly for a mace. He felt the store window to assure himself it was there. The lady in the doorway, noticed his eyes. They were not right. She backed into the store to dial the police. She locked the door. Harold found the mace, it was lying next to the curb. He picked it up and walked purposefully toward his mother. How could she have left the church? She was always waking up…
He smashed the full length window. The woman screamed. He stepped through, dripping pants, creased shirt, wilty neck, balding pate. She ran toward the back of the store. It would not unlock. Her keys were at the register. There were no weapons here. Mannequins too large, hangers too small, she reached into her pocket and grabbed her measuring tape. She could strangle him, he was a little guy.
Harold saw the measuring tape come out of her pocket. She was delusional, she needed to rest. He swung the mace. She dodged as he swung the pipe at her. Not swift enough, it caught her arm. She punched, contacting his face. Mother always struggled when he tried to make her rest. He swung the mace again. She was hit, square across the jaw, the threaded end of the pipe oddly tingly even as she recoiled from the weight of the blow.
Mother needed to sleep. Finally, contact. The curious crunch. He smiled and knelt next to her. Briefly, he grabbed her hair, pulling the head up, allowing her to view the church around them.
Her eyes stared blindly at the ceiling.
He knew she loved the cathedral ceiling. It was important to let her see it. He gently set her back down. No stains on his clothes. He walked out.
Taco Bell was delicious. As he ate his second taco, he was approached by two officers.
“Please put your hands above your head and lock your fingers together.” The man had a gun drawn on him.
Harold looked down at the sour cream laying gently across his taco. “This is a supreme.” He continued to eat.
“PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND LOCK YOUR FINGERS TOGETHER!”
Some cheese and sour cream fell out of the taco, onto Harold’s shirt. He would have to find the saleslady. This shirt was not good after all.
The officers grabbed him, easily, cuffing his hands behind him.
Harold wondered if his mom was alright. “Please grab a coupon from them. I’ll need it for my next visit.”
copyright john reed clark 03/28/2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ninja Samaritan
Helping others when they least expect it is fun. Ninja Samaritan. The next time you are in a restaurant, or in line at a store, eye someone who looks like they have been having a difficult day. Discreetly, in some way that they will never know who did them the favor, pay for their meal, or purchase their goods (this one is more tricky, you may just have to pay for them by giving the cashier money and leaving). Or perhaps the person seems to be debating on which item to buy-pick up the one the don't choose, pay for it, and ask a store clerk to deliver it to them, paid in full. Or buy flowers for a complete stranger, hand it to them, and say "Good Morning (or whatever it is), These flowers are in need of some nice company, and you appear to be in need of some nice flowers. God Bless and have a great day!"
It's important to walk away. Leave the person stunned. They will talk about the random act of kindness, and may perform one of their own.
It's important to walk away. Leave the person stunned. They will talk about the random act of kindness, and may perform one of their own.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Family
We get so caught up in the titles. Who is that? How are they related? Are they REALLY related? Why do you care?(yes I've been asked that)
A collection of organisms huddled for their mutual survival enhancement?
A mass of entities organized for maximum effectiveness?
How about a hodge podge of chaotically interwoven emotional flesh bags coagulating spiritually to provide self serving reasons for continued existence?
It really doesn't matter what you call them. That's really the point.
If family to you is a stray cat, a drunk uncle, and an old lady that smells like oreo cookies, embrace it.
For many of us, we come from large families and too often take the relationships for granted. It's just how we grew up. And now, well into my 40's, I look around and feel blessed. Two great daughters, an awesome son, an incredible godson, and 4 brothers, most of whom I am close with. My mom and dad are still around, and I thank the stars every day they are here. My wife, most of all, feeds me purpose for life itself.
And then there are those who have nothing. No siblings, or worse, siblings who won't socialize with them. No interconnectivity between souls.
Repression sets in then, a streamlined focus of purpose which allows them to fill the voids created by the lack of children or social embrace so yearned for by even the most resolute of people.
I will probably edit this later, just letting a bit of my brain fall out.
A collection of organisms huddled for their mutual survival enhancement?
A mass of entities organized for maximum effectiveness?
How about a hodge podge of chaotically interwoven emotional flesh bags coagulating spiritually to provide self serving reasons for continued existence?
It really doesn't matter what you call them. That's really the point.
If family to you is a stray cat, a drunk uncle, and an old lady that smells like oreo cookies, embrace it.
For many of us, we come from large families and too often take the relationships for granted. It's just how we grew up. And now, well into my 40's, I look around and feel blessed. Two great daughters, an awesome son, an incredible godson, and 4 brothers, most of whom I am close with. My mom and dad are still around, and I thank the stars every day they are here. My wife, most of all, feeds me purpose for life itself.
And then there are those who have nothing. No siblings, or worse, siblings who won't socialize with them. No interconnectivity between souls.
Repression sets in then, a streamlined focus of purpose which allows them to fill the voids created by the lack of children or social embrace so yearned for by even the most resolute of people.
I will probably edit this later, just letting a bit of my brain fall out.
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